My history up until this moment has been defined mostly by environmental factors. To tell the story in factual conciseness would be to ignore the emotional – or spiritual – importance contained in the experience. And so I resort to parable to tell the tale of I.
There were two siblings, Abel and I, and both were servants of the gods of Choice. I scoured the earth looking for fruits with which to please her gods, but the Season was a Hard one, and the only vegetation that she could find were Bitter. Abel, though, being the elder of the two, had a flock of small lambs that were given to him for protection. To appease his gods, Abel sacrificed the little lambs and grew strong and prosperous.
I came home to discover the little ones had been butchered, their innocence bloody and lifeless under his hands. She tried to restore life to the innocent, shook their still forms, and whispered words of prayer. But the lambs would not move, and they were Lost.
I ran to the mountains to howl out accusations against Abel for all to hear. But the gods and people would not hear her. More lambs were sacrificed, and more blood was shed. I became angry and shouted out hateful things to Abel and to his supporters, to make them see that what had been done was wrong.
Finally, Abel and I were brought to trial by the People to decide whose case was Just. They observed Abel, repentant now, and said, “Behold how Abel suffers under his sacrifice! Let us Forgive him! Let us exalt him! But lo, look how I angers! Look at her hatefulness! She is one to be supressed! Let us exile her! Let us banish her from our sight, that she may not remind poor Abel of his sacrifice!”
And so I was cast out, to roam the earth alone. And she was angry. In her anger she put the Mark of Cain upon her arm, and it spread across her body, contaminating her. And those she met in exile saw the Mark of Cain and were afraid.
I lived alone for many years. Sometimes she reached out to others, but after a time the Mark upon her body would remind her of the untrustworthy nature of man, and she would withdraw, sometimes betraying before she could be betrayed.
And so I lived alone in the wilderness until she met another, with an unseeable Mark upon his body, a Mark in his eyes. And he took I, and walked with her for a time, until she was able to walk on her own, and then the other, with the Mark in his eyes, followed after her.
And I was not alone.