The Myth of the Spirit

I’m trying, sometimes with great difficulty, to understand who I am, where I’m going, and what the journey signifies. More often than not I feel like I’m not anything, that what I think I am is a construct of all those things I wish I was. And I guess one of the things I wish I was is permanent and not of such a transient nature. I wish I had some sense of spirituality, but whenever my mind caresses that sphere, I feel that it is false. I want to find my way again, to know myself and my thoughts, to understand what I believe in. If I believe in the spirit, I want to know that I believe in it and not that I am succumbing to a comfortable myth. And if I believe that death is annihilation, then I want to embrace that and to not be afraid in acknowledging that I don’t believe in the myth of the spirit. But I oscillate between the desire for belief and unbelief. I have no faith even in faithlessness.

I want to begin to look into all religions, to find what greater Truth all of these beliefs have in common. I feel that if I can study these things, I will be able to discard aspects that I disagree with and narrow my search for meaning in this way. Maybe the only way I can find out what I am is by eliminating what I am not.


About Julia Jane

I've recently graduated university and am working in the field of both social work and education. I bring theatrical expertise and a love of literature to my students on a daily basis. View all posts by Julia Jane

2 responses to “The Myth of the Spirit

  • Andre Andrushenko

    you seem to have faith that there is meaning out there, waiting for you to find it :p

  • Julia Jane

    I suppose that is a kind of faith, although the faith I possess is not that meaning necessarily exists out there, but rather that even if it doesn’t exist,even if every scrap of evidence points towards it being a false ideal, I have faith that I will continue the search anyways. And isn’t that exactly what the quest of man for God is? Let me call God, “Meaning”, and call me Apostle Paul.

    Thanks for putting that in perspective.

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